It seems to have been ages since I last put pen to paper. And this isn't changing that as, I'm sure you'll be well aware,I currently have no paper and brandish no pen. But it's an expression, and I'm going with it. Brilliantly, despite at least a month having passed since my last entry, I have noticed that I have no subscribers. This, then, is merely a way for me to talk to myself. Time to oil the inner monologue, then, and see what I can come up with. Whether this is merely the manifestation of some kind of burgeoning psychosis, therefore, remains to be seen. All I know is, it's better than attending to the growing pile of dishes in the kitchen sink. So...
Scarily, it is now basically Christmas. Where the hell did that come from? Honestly, it seems all of five minutes ago that I was clearing up the wrapping paper and pine needles from last year. And it does make me wonder: does time really pass quicker the older you get? Personally, I believe it gets quicker the bigger you get. Just look at how quickly tiny things, like ants, move. There's no way they are actually going that quickly - it's just a matter of perspective. To them, they're probably going for a brisk stroll, at best. Admittedly, there is a serious flaw to my argument here; a pretty fundamental one, at that. I stopped growing at about fifteen, and have remained not very tall since then. But time has definitely sped up, so I am completely undermining my own argument now. Balls. Anyway, I digress. To sum up, since I last spoke, things have improved immeasurably. I can't help but notice that I came across a tad, well... upset, in the last entry. Bitter, perhaps. But not twisted, I draw the line at that. A really good indicator of my improving fortunes lay next to me on the bed as I speak. No, I have not left for 'pastures new', or become a Mormon. It's not quite that exciting. But it is our cat; a fine Abyssinian by the name of Mimi. She moved in last month, having spent the last two years being tended to at Louise's Mum's. We are so chuffed to have her with us, finally, and she brings a smile to my face every day with her various schemes for more food, or just mischief. She's just aces. Additionally, I may have a job starting soon with a big local company. I just have one more phase of the application process to go, so am very hopeful and very excited. It's like the Apprentice, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I really think I'm over the whole 'failed teacher' thing. I had a moment the other day when watching Kindergarten Cop - when the kids all hug Arnold Schwarzenegger (don't laugh) - and I thought; 'Damn, I could have been a teacher everyone loved!' Reality took a while to hit in and, when it did, I realised that my kids would never have loved me at that school. They probably would never love anything. Maybe a flamethrower, but then... you never know. Other than one or two of these moments, however, I have been pretty good about it all. It just wasn't meant to be but, in the future, who knows? Maybe I'll get there and, if I do, it will be because I wanted to and the time was right.
My mind, right now, is 100% set on Christmas. And that's Christmas. Not Xmas, or any other amalgamation. It's all about the big man this year, and I can't wait for my family to arrive for me to host for the very first time. Now, before you all start thinking I've gone mad and have become a devout 'man of the cloth', do not fear. I'm not going to tell you all that there's one being who we should all bow down to and so on. I don't believe that, myself. Rather, I want to celebrate what I do believe in, and that's those who are closest to me - my family and friends. I want this year - a year where I have lost a lot - to be about rejoicing in what we still have, not what we have lost. I have my health (just - and a few jars will see to that, anyhow), I have my family and also my Louise, who will shortly be in my family, too. So I want Christmas to be about them - about what I believe in - and spending time with them. Be that walks, big dinners or carol services. I have said I want this year to be about the big man and, in a really big way, these people are my God. They have shaped me and continue to guide me in all that I do so, if that's what religion is, then sign me up. People have become very hung up on the commercial side of Christmas; I think that's where the 'X' has come from, as in; 'Sign next to the cross please, sir'. My advice to you, spend the money on a wicked joint - of meat (what else??) and be merry and happy with those that you love. Because there is no time to waste on being upset or angry. You have already spent 6 billion years effectively dead before now, and once you're gone that's it for at least another 6 billion, after which the universe will explode and all will be lost. So enjoy it while it lasts.
Happy Christmas everyone (which is just me, as already discussed) and see you in the New Year.
Who am I talking to??
Mike
